I’m an NFT collector, crypto investor, husband, father of two

First off, I’m thrilled to have an opportunity to talk to a large audience about what’s going on in NFTs right now, and I wanna thank the Bay Club Apealist for giving me that. This is such a crazy time to be alive and such a revolutionary sector that I feel like anything we say about it is bound to get archived for posterity, no matter how stupid it is. So we can’t really lose the long game, even if we don’t and can’t possibly comprehend the full implications of the long game. Though in many ways there’s a familiar air to what’s going on in crypto and NFTs. There’s an adventurous spirit that parallels the pioneering Victorian era when so many resources were being sought out and harnessed to power the Industrial Revolution. There’s an intellectual shift happening that echoes that of the enlightenment. There’s an unmistakable ennui that has the bitter taste of degenerate Rome. And for the first time in over a century, there is a very clear and present opportunity for an individual to become “self-made” in the truest sense.

And having said all of that, I’m now done being a pompous ass and we can move on to fun times. You really should cut me some slack, though. I mean, as soon as you give this whole moment in history more than 30 seconds of sustained thought, it’s fucking hard not to admit that it’s pretty goddamn important. And how else are you supposed to talk about important shit? And I said all of that to say this: Nothing we do from here on out is trivial, even if it looks like the unholy spawn of Pixar and Hanna Barbera and it’s wearing golf shoes; even if it’s blatant plagiarism; even if it’s a shameless cash grab or a shitty hot take, all of it matters because we have the rare and dangerous privilege of living through Legendary Times. So let’s get amped the fuck up! We’re making history, amigos!

Now I haven’t been here too long. I started trading crypto in early February and only really dove into the non-fungibles in April. My route was pretty crooked and I made a few death-defying manoeuvres to get here, but I arrived more or less in one piece. And when I got here, I started meeting my neighbours. Naturally, it’s easier to get to know the guys and gals who show up early and stay late every day. Guys like Hash Bastard, Crypto Devil, Bastard Ghost, Crypto Perv, Stacy (gal) and a ton more determined, talented, ambitious creators became my acquaintances and friends. And all of us have an unshakeable conviction that there’s a unique and priceless opportunity right in front of our faces if we’re willing to take it. I don’t even think most of us can really say why we believe this, but we believe it to the core. And that’s what bonded me with them. That sense of connection that a venture capitalist or a vault curator simply doesn’t need and doesn’t really want was my whole priority. My first buy-in at the NFT table was with my heart and soul, and that made the money an afterthought.

So that’s the tenor and tone you can expect from me. I’m not just superficially investing in this, or speculating, and I’m damn sure not shorting it. These are my friends and my allies. We grind at this every day and we grin through the bullshit scams, and the nuclear fallout of popped influencer bubbles, and the onslaught of half-assed cash grabs, and we keep a stiff upper lip and a firm resolve, and we tell jokes while Rome is burning because together we’re gonna build something even better.

On that note, I’d like to announce something on the way from one of my best friends. All I’m at liberty to say at the moment is the following:

• This is a “Super Secret Project” 

• It isn’t another Generative Cash Grab Project. It’s being created by a bonafide, actual #NFTCommunity artist
• Both the Project and its Roadmap comprise careful planning and innovative metaverse applications
• Elite and highly sought-after developers are interested and providing consultation currently
• The man behind this project is not an anonymous, unknown quantity. We all know his name and where he lives
• This project will be announced soon. The back and front end will not be rushed, and it will integrate seamlessly with the already existent brand the artist has established 
• Last but not least, there will be AMPLE female representation in this project (lookin’ at you, Art Chick)

Follow me closely for further revelations in the near future. This is the beginning of the evolution of NFTs, guys. We’re gonna see young, brilliant, enterprising artists and developers become the thought leaders and moguls of tomorrow. We haven’t even gotten started yet, and I already have whiplash. To all of you busting your asses every day and smiling through the rain, I fuckin’ love you, and thanks for lovin’ me back.

Oh, and buy punk.